Word Count: 7,000, Pairing: Harry Potter/Delphini Riddle
Read the Fic Here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13823916/4/The-Saviour-s-Pariah
My Thoughts: Good job, Valor! If there’s one thing I love to see, it’s authors improving over time, and this chapter is an enormous step up from the last three! It’s honestly really nice to see. The biggest two improvements are the dialogue and the mechanics. I really felt like each character had distinct mannerisms and talking styles that made long scenes with a lot of talking much easier to follow, and stuff like em-dashes and semicolons were all in the correct places this time, for the most part. I also just felt like there was more of a plot going on, and what I thought was especially nice was that this chapter did a great job recontextualizing the pacing of the previous three. In fact, if I were to read all four chapters for the first time today, I have a feeling I’d enjoy it way more than I did the first three by themselves. Delphini’s also super interesting and fun now! Her moments with Harry were very sweet, and I’m very interested to see their relationship continue to develop, and while I personally would prefer it if Valor kept this fic as a regular old single pairing, I could see the fic pulling off a multi pairing fairly decently, as long as a lot of groundwork is established in all of their characters first. Overall, great job Valor! I’d put this chapter in the low-mid good tier. Keep up this level of improvement and you’ll have something really special on your hands.